real life 101: lesson 1

Dear friends,

It's about time for a life update. But where to start? These last few months have been like an freefalling at terminal velocity....so in other words, very fast. As a result, I haven't had much time to catch my breath, so this is my attempt at sharing some snippets to assure you that yes, I am still alive (mostly).

First, to preface, there are some pretty huge updates that will be important for the context of my experiences this year:
1. I've just begun a one year master's program in Philadelphia in the hopes of becoming a teacher :)
2. I've agreed to marry a pretty cool guy shortly after my program finishes :P 

Soooo yeah that's happening. I know there will be so many great learning experiences during this one short year and I hope to be able to share them in a way that is encouraging but also just real. So here's my lesson #1. 

Sometimes you just have to be okay with looking pathetic. 

I don't mean this in a self-deprecating way. I just mean that sometimes, when you learn things the hard way, you might end up looking a little silly. And that's okay.

Take, for instance, my somewhat depressing Friday afternoon. I had planned to stay on campus after class because I wanted to attend a Bible study in West Philly later that evening. Right after class, I was ravenous, having somewhat skimped on lunch. I went to a nearby coffee shop and walked out with a lukewarm ice tea and an underwhelming chocolate muffin. Feeling slightly regretful of my purchase, I still ate as much as I could before heading to the library, stomach rumbling. The library was great, until I got kicked out when it closed at 5. No problem, I thought, I'll just go to the GSE (Grad School of Ed) building. I should have swipe access there even after it closes. But it was a nice day, so I decided to sit outside for a while first.

An hour later, my computer and phone batteries running low, I decided to move inside. Lo and behold, swipe access after hours only works Monday though Thursday, aka NOT Friday. Well, great golly, I thought, what am I supposed to do now? Can't do homework, can't use my phone. So after wandering through campus like a lost duckling, not really sure what I was looking for, I ended up back where I started, and resigned to eating my dinner in the deserted courtyard while being harassed by an audacious squirrel. 

Some of you might read this and think, aww, that's so sad, poor you! Others might be thinking, ...are you sure you're ready for grad school? But that's not why I'm sharing this.

I think a lot of times as....just people in general, we think we need to exude a type of competence that makes us worthy of respect. I definitely do, and up until now, it's still my biggest fear about becoming a teacher. But when I walked into orientation on my first day, I was met with a group of incredibly diverse, incredibly kind, and incredibly fun people who continue to challenge the way I think every day. I think it's safe to say that's a first. Even in this first short week of school, I have learned so much about what it looks like to be okay with not knowing it all, and even be excited about the fact that we are likely never going to know it all. Because then we never stop learning. So moments like that Friday afternoon will happen, but I came out of it knowing more than I did going in. And I think that makes it worth it. 

At the same time, God is showing me that he's got my back. That in the confusion and fear and loneliness of figuring out life in a new city, while juggling an intensive grad program with the reality of wedding nitty-gritties, his grace has been beyond what I could have imagined. 


But more about that next time :) Thanks for reading, and please feel free to reach out for a chat!
-M